How To Deal With Rejection

We just had an outstanding Committed Impulse workshop in Los Angeles last week.

Here is one of the many emails I received a few days ago.

I want to thank you for an amazing class and a new outlook on acting and life. You are phenomenal at what u do and how u do it.

We got out of class Sunday. I had an audition Wednesday. Just got the call from my agent that I booked it! No call back necessary. I had so much fun during the audition. I channeled the acting goddess. We played. You helped me realize we are allowed to do that. I chose my fantasy way of doing the character. Ahhhh. So fun

Thank you so so so much. See u in June!

Erin

Isn’t it so dang delicious to get a job you want, regardless of your field?

However, the majority of the time, we get rejected. This is nothing to complain about. It’s just how it is. If your career path leads you into the arts or other entrepreneurial professions, you will be rejected. Not always – but often. Law of the land. So what.

One thing the Committed Impulse weekend did for many of us was cleared the slate so that we don’t go into our next meeting, interview, audition or job carrying past rejections as a buffer to the present moment.

If we don’t catch it we can build up armor from a series of rejections. This armor blocks our hearts, our bodies, and ultimately our creativity. Soon we go into situations where we must create spontaneously and we can’t offer our full brilliance because we are protecting ourselves from potentially even more rejection.

So, what do ya do???

Do these mantras work?

“Fuck them.”

“I am usually better, I just had a bad day, why don’t they see my brilliance. Fuck them.”

“I am a golden light flowing forth into the universe. If they don’t give me the job – fuck them”

“I didn’t really want it.”

“Ommmmotherfuckers!!”

I have studied these mantras.

I have practiced these mantras.

They don’t produce terrific results.

Here is what does work:

When you get rejected… Feel it.

What???

Yes. Feel the sting of it. Breathe and feel where in your body the dart has landed.

THIS IS KEY!

IMPORTANT NOTE:

DO NOT DRAMATIZE IN YOUR MIND!!!

SIMPLY FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL IN YOUR BODY.

THAT’S IT!

And, yes it may be very uncomfortable. Maybe you’ll even cry for 30 seconds. (more than 45 seconds and you’re probably having a drama party – not allowed!)

AND THEN IT WILL BE OVER.

So, the game is not to stop feeling rejection. The game is, when it is there, experience it. By simply experiencing it you will burn it up. Throw gas on the fire, feel the flame, and then be done with it.

So many actors, and heartbroken lovers, never let themselves feel the STING. Instead, they build up armor and rationalize how to go forward. But this rationalizing is at the expense of their creativity, aliveness, and ability to thrive in the present moment.

Feeling it =  motional colonic.

Not feeling it = caca build up.

As creators, it is our JOB to have bodies that are free of residue and armor. Being free of past rejections sets you up to do your best work and book the jobs that are right for you.

Do you have any examples of how dramatizing a rejection only served to create more drama?

What about examples of feeling it and cleaning house?

Let’s be open about this stuff so we don’t carry it around in secret 40-pound knapsacks.

Leave a comment, otherwise, I will feel rejected and will have to feel it.

Big Hug

Josh Pais