Have you ever been in an audition or meeting or given a presentation and gone blind?
I don’t mean permanently blind. More like short term blindness.
Do you suffer from Short Term Blindness Syndrome (STBS)? Let me explain with a story about what’s happened to me on many an audition.
I walk into the audition room. I start to feel a sensation that I wish I wasn’t feeling. You know, like nervous.
I try to get rid of that nervous feeling with everything I’ve got. In fact, I’m desperate to get rid of that feeling.
Without realizing it, I’ve decreased my breathing and tightened my body, which ironically does nothing but make me more nervous. Great.
I’m on autopilot. I stumble through the audition and somehow make my way back to the door. What the hell just happened?
As I leave the building I realize I didn’t see the people in the room. Truth be told, I didn’t even see the room for that matter. I was a friggin‘ blind acting zombie.
Thankfully, STBS doesn’t happen to me very often anymore. But I’ve certainly been there and it’s beyond painful when it happens.
So what triggers STBS? The main trigger stems from the notion that there is an ideal state to be in in order to act . . .
Or an ideal state to be in in order to perform your best while in an important meeting, or during an important presentation. You know, during shit that counts.
Here’s the kicker people. There is no ideal state to be in – to act or hold an important meeting or do anything important for that matter. (This includes dates).
Your job is to tell the truth from exactly where you are – not to manipulate yourself into some fantasy state of “confidence” or however you think you should be.
Here are the facts. When it comes to what we’ll feel at any given moment, we’re pretty much out of control.
Think about it. Can you predict what you’re going to feel 5 minutes from now?
Well, maybe if you’re downing a half bottle of Jack you have a rough idea of what you’re going to feel in the next few minutes.
But for the rest of us, we don’t know what we’re going to feel. We can’t count on feeling any emotion consistently.
What can you count on? Uncertainty. And sure, it’s scary for your mind. After all, your mind wants you to be in complete control. But in reality, uncertainty is a beautiful thing.
Here’s why…
People only want your truth. They want to share in what you’re really feeling right now. And that is always an unknown, uncertain.
When you’re in a meeting and able to be present with any sensation that arises within you (nervous, scared, elated, excited, sad, joyful, whatever), it’s extremely compelling. It’s magnetic and impossible to ignore.
When you’re being real with what you’re feeling in each moment, people listen.
Funny enough, when you try to hide what you’re feeling in order to appear “confident” or “together” or whatever, people can’t see you so well and, you can’t see them, and everybody is going to hell of a time listening. Chaos. STBS.
So here’s the game plan.
When you walk into your next audition, meeting, or presentation expect to feel lots of different sensations. Most of them, you won’t like. Just stay engaged and let yourself really feel them. You do that, and you won’t go blind. And, you’ll actually appear confident. Confidence is the result of being willing to tell the truth no matter what.
And, nervousness, the sensation most of us try hardest to hide, will only last 7 – 12 seconds if you really let yourself feel it.
So feel your sensations, breathe, and SEE what is in front of you.
If you get lost in thought or things start to get foggy, come back to your breath, your body and what is actually in front of you. Not only will you not go blind, but people will get to see the amazing and talented you. And that’s beyond awesome.
(I just love this stuff, can you tell?)
If you ever get nervous or have your own version of STBS, and you want to handle all this stuff once and for all . . .
I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve to train you to stay fully present – eyes wide open – no matter what you’re feeling. Get more details and register now here.
So now it’s your turn. Let me know if you’ve ever gone blind, and what has helped to bring you back to seeing. Leave a comment and let me know.
Last night was the opening for my show. If I hadn’t taken Committed impulse, my moments of temporary would have turned into permanency…at least for the rest of the show. Last night was so fun and the show got great feedback! Honestly, in the moments I started to push away my nerves I felt so dizzy and “out of it” I wiggled in my ridiculously high heeled show shoes…which caused to meto hate the nerves and “control” them more…which didn’t work! As soon as I let ’em fly and felt the nerves they brought me alive and all of a sudden the audience was laughing at lines I didn’t even know were funny. So, yes!! I know this syndrome, and have learned how to address it-I’ve yet to master the moment and would be in this weekend workshop strengthening those in-the-moment muscles with you guys if I weren’t performing. Instead, I’ll be practicing on 30th street around 2:00 pm! Have fun and I’m there in spirit!
Rock on, Allie! That’s awesome!!! Josh, your blogs are always right on time! ha!–I know that “blind acting zombie” feeling–looking forward to class to train away the blindness! …Or just notice the blindness…??? :)!
Congrats Allie.
So inspiring!
The truth always works.
It’s so hard for our mind to wrap around that.
But this artform is about being. Unfolding in each moment. That’s what people want to see.
You go girl!
Josh
After reading your thoughts on STBS… it sparked some questions in my mind.
First off, it made me think about past auditions that I felt wonderful about and the auditions that lead to callbacks. I contemplated whether or not, I could recall if I was accepting my true emotions. And in fact if that was the case, then my true emotions are what got me the callback/job.
Then I thought about past auditions that didn’t go so well, and I then concluded this could have been due to STSB and/or too much negative inner-judgment.
Some BIG general questions that arose for me were: how do I become a character that needs to be experiencing “such and such emotion” when I’m feeling the exact opposite? If I’m feeling the opposite of my character’s emotion, how do I still present a truthful performance?
For instance, if I feel nervous, but my character is supposed to be pissed-off (because that’s what the director wants)… where should I be focusing my attention? I would answer, on the nervous emotion because that is the truth, and in 7-12 seconds it’ll pass. But I don’t understand how focusing on my truth, is going to give the director what he wants. I do however understand, that humans crave and desire truth, and that of course is what gets you the job, but I’m still a bit confused… Should I just trust that my acting techniques/preparation will shine through my nervous feeling? Or is there more to it?
Awesome question Malorie.
There are several answers.
But it is key to look at your first two paragraphs and see the proof.
When you created from your truth you booked jobs.
Now, in terms of making choices, or giving the director what he/she wants I will give you an answer – but really this needs to be experienced in class to be fully digested.
But, here goes. What you need to do is to alter the information/sensations in your body and tell the truth about that alteration. Still you are telling the truth, but in a sense you have altered the truth to support your interpretation of the material.
How do you do this? Well, we will get to that in the Thursday night class in this week, or if you are going to take the weekend workshop we will directly address these kind of issues as we go thru different audition scenarios.
If other CI peeps have thoughts on this – chime in.
Let’s all use this blog to dig deep and explore.
Hope this was helpful
Best
Josh
Thank you Josh for addressing my question. I’m so looking forward to exploring this further in class on Thursday.
Much Joy,
Malorie
Malorie–
For me, it’s been amazing on so many counts to just honor what’s happening right now, and trust that all your work is underneath. Pissed off can include nervousness, can’t it? Monday I did a reading of a new play that was so wacky and fragmented, I had no idea how to ground it. I received it only an hour before the reading and had no opportunity to ask the context. How could I do this “right”? I kept coming back to my body, my environment, the words, my emotion, my breath, my body.. and resisted the drama about nailing it of failing it. I kept telling myself that there is nothing wrong with being in a place of not knowing. Your director will likely love your take on the direction, because what is happening is you are sharing yourself, your essence, at that moment through the work. If you judge yourself, you will find all creation withers. As a director, I find this kind of actor refreshing, offering new ideas that I hadn’t thought of and a vitality that is usually far more compelling than I imagined.
Even before I got home that night, the director of the theater company emailed me saying how much they liked my work, and he specifically said, “You had the energy without it being forced, and I was always interested in what your character had to say,” and wanting me to come back soon! Welcome and wonderful feedback in my opinion. And the beauty was it felt absolutely effortless! Whew! Joy!
Hope that helps.
Monica
:^)
Monica,
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my question. And yes, your advice was helpful. I greatly appreciate you sharing your story with me. I can definitely relate, and point to instances in my life where I felt my acting was completely effortless. I know that with more Committed Impulse classes, I’ll be able to achieve these experiences more often.
Much joy,
Malorie
When I’m nervous my personality is as interesting as cardboard. Although I enter the room for an audition I never seem to “enter” the room with my personality. Often the best roles I’ve been cast for are the ones given to me by people who have seen my work or worked with me in the past. Cold auditions are never my forte. I can’t get past whatever my body is giving me.
Sadly a chronic illness combined with my nerves has created a more potent anxiety I am still trying to conquer. I’ve tried a hypnotist and a variety of alternative options in the hopes of bringing back my talents (I remember having talent, I do, I really do). It’s been easy to blame my illness but this weekend I hope to overcome this hurdle.
I look forward to exploring this weekend.
I love this so much: “People only want your truth. They want to share in what you’re really feeling right now. And that is always an unknown, uncertain.”
Thank you so much for this, Josh. The more I practice Committed Impulse, the more I am experiencing this sense of embracing the unknown.
I just finished a scene study class with Alaine Alldaffer, and she had given me a scene from the one woman show, “Bad Dates,” to perform in a showcase for the playwright Theresa Rebeck. I discovered or felt through rehearsal that the character was chaotic in rhythm and high in grounding. That combo really made me hear and feel the truth of the character more than I’ve ever “heard” or sensed before. It was really revolutionary!
And then when it came time to perform, my nerves went wild, so I just said, “Ok, I’m feeling nervous in my legs, hands, body.” I accepted the sensation, and the weirdest thing happened. I felt this shift, this sense of movement as the nervous energy changed into something else.I was OK! LOL
I still don’t know if I was quite “there” while performing. Sometimes I felt like I was “there.” I could see what was in front of me. I was aware of my breath and the sensations in my body. But boy, the power struggle of the mind to take me somewhere else was intense.
It’s scary as hell, but the more I do it, the more I love it 🙂
Thank you for sharing the ride!