You ever achieved something, gotten a great new job, or had a sweet windfall?
But then you had the thought, I shouldn’t share that. Maybe the thought was that someone would feel “less than” if you told them.
Or maybe the thought was that revealing good fortune would make you prone to some kind of retaliation, jealousy, or resentment. Or that someone would minimize your success in some way.
I’ve been there.
I learned a beautiful lesson from Michael Patrick King, best known for directing and writing for Sex and the City (I played the Modelizer, FYI), And Just Like That . . ., as well as writing and directing film adaptations of the series.
Michael also co-created the television comedy series 2 Broke Girls, and wrote on Murphy Brown (both of which I had a blast working on).
Michael Patrick King + me on the set of Two Broke Girls
I’m writing to ya today because the final season of Michael’s show The Comeback started airing two weeks ago. It’s an outrageous depiction of an actress on the verge of success and possible failure. It’s painful, funny, and quite close to home (for me at least). It’s on HBO.
Let me know what ya think.
And if you’ve never seen the show – I suggest going back and watching the first two seasons first.
Back to my point…
MPK and I started out together at the Circle Rep Lab Company.
Our group created experimental little plays in the black box theatre on Spring Street.
At the time Michael lived in an Upper West Side basement apartment. He struggled to keep the electricity on (yes we worried about him). None of us had any money, but we were definitely having fun.
Cut to years later: I got offered a recurring role on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, playing a Ferengi. Cousin Gayla.
The show filmed in LA.
I didn’t have a place to stay there, so I reached out to Michael. At the time he had just begun working as a TV writer and bought his first house in the Hollywood Hills. “Yeah, come stay with me!”
I’d never been to the Hollywood Hills at the time and was impressed by Michael’s spread. I had a great room to stay in, and was looking forward to catching up with my good friend.
After I dropped my bags, we were standing in his living room. A big smile came over his face. “Josh, I just got a deal with HBO. They’re giving me . . .” It was A LOT of money!!
At the time it was way more money than anyone I knew was making. Or even could make, for that matter.
Michael expressed his utter enthusiasm for his situation with complete honesty, and no reservation.
Here’s why I’m telling you this:
His win lit me up.
I felt expansive.
It opened up the possibility that I could have more success.
His win became a win for me.
I’ve also encountered others sharing a success less spontaneously.
With more of an agenda behind it. For example, someone says something great that they’ve achieved, but presents it like it’s no big deal.
That way of operating can send the listener into their mind. The listener can start thinking that their own “lesser” successes are not that great.
The game of sharing a win to make others feel less is a game where no one wins.
Instead . . .
Share your wins with whatever enthusiasm is truthful.
Don’t hide your milestones or simmer down your success with people who are rooting for you. Signal to the universe that you are ready for more goodness.
When you win, we all win.
Things to ponder:
- What fearful thoughts, if any, do you have about sharing your wins?
- Can ya practice some heartfelt bragging to a friend? When you win, we all win.
Hey! Don’t make me wrong about this and share your wins with someone who is not gonna be happy for you. You know who I’m talking about.
Wanna share a win with me to get things started?
I’d love to hear!
Rock on
Josh
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