I am back from the first ever Committed Impulse Retreat in Maya Tulum. It was amazing. The resort was on the beach, everyone had a thatched roof structure to call home, amazing vegetarian dishes and fresh fish. Killer guacamole. I’m back.
Every participant was asked to prepare a 20 minute Hot Seat. In it they were to talk about their greatest creative and business obstacle, and what they wanted to get out of the retreat.
For many, there was a desire to get over fear.
They felt that fear held them back from going for their dreams.
They asked me, “How can I get over fear?”
I assured them of one thing.
“You will never get over fear.”
That wasn’t the answer they were looking for.
Let’s take a moment and look at what most people refer to as fear…
Fear is a body sensation, often felt in the torso. It is a slightly chaotic energy. The atoms are swirling. Plus, there is a conversation in the mind full of self doubt.
Here’s the truth…
We are all designed to feel the sensations of fear. It is built into our DNA. And it will never go away.
And fear does not mean you are unsuccessful, not ready, or unprofessional!
And be assured, every time, YES EVERY TIME you put your ass on the line you will most probably feel that swirling sensation.
What you do have control over is the self doubting thoughts.
Let’s break that down.
When you have a low tolerance for the sensation of swirling energy in your torso, you try to escape from feeling it. It’s what most people do.
The problem is that when you leave the sensations in your body, your attention has to go somewhere else. And, that place is your thoughts.
And whenever we follow our thoughts we end up with an abusive conversation that kills our creativity and prevents us from moving ahead.
The game is to feel that swirling in your torso, party with the sensation, breathe, and stay connected to whatever is in front of you. NO DRAMA ALLOWED.
The result – there will be a 7 -12 second rush of energy in your body and then another sensation and another. No biggie.
You will always have sensation. But the game is to stay with it – otherwise you will go in your head – and that will be bad news.
And if you stay with the sensation and start to increase your tolerance for some vibration, nothing will stop you again.
This is soooo important for you to get.
Our culture is obsessed with getting rid of fear.
Remember… Fear is just atoms vibrating around. No biggie.
Feel it, breathe, stay connected with what is in front of you…
Today, I am reading notes from the Retreat participants about how they are making those calls that they were avoiding. They’re setting up meetings with managers, agents and directors. They have the tools to move ahead.
And so do you!
Thank you Josh! This is so on the point and right on time…I love to party with fear and dance with it, I’m already curious for next time when it arouses…let the DNA move! All best for your film! Stephanie.
And yea – do the dance!
I went to the retreat and this was my biggest issue. I learned so much from everyone there; and I’m not just saying this just to sound profound. I really did. I can honestly say I feel like a real actor. I can say it now with no shame. I had my script out on the flight home and the guy next to me said “oh your trying to be an actress?” . My reply “No, I am an actress.”
Thank you Josh/Michelle and all my Tulummates!
Lisa Young says
“Party with the fear.” That’s an image that I can’t wait to connect to. I’m almost looking for something to get scared about now. It’ll be a party ALL the time!
I wrote a post a while back about the two truths of failure, and your post ties it all together. Guess I’ll have to revisit it and make some updates. Thanks for the insight, Josh!
Love, “It’ll be a party all the time!”
Maddie, That is a fantastic anecdote ~ I came home, contacted an agent I have worked with (worked with her one time only so I was so afraid I’d be bugging her). Told her I was home from the retreat, told her about a job I had, sent her a pretty photo from the beach and she wrote back – “how nice!”. So I was happy. But then she contacted me again and said “I’m working on something I’d like to get in for, Michelle” and I know I put myself in her mind by writing! I got the email too late for the audition (poop) but now we have a friendlier relationship than before. So I think it’s a win!
Awesome Michelle! Its a HUGE Win. You are on her radar now!
Sandi Amorim says
“Fear is just atoms vibrating around. No biggie.”
While I’ve heard and written similar, I love the succinctness of that line!
I know if the planet can start to experience sensations as opposed to going into drama because there is sensation, there will be a huge shift. It starts with y’all. Thanks so much for commenting!
Steve Rice says
Love how you’ve broken down fear. It’s so important to be aware of (and acknowledge) what’s happening physiologically in our bodies.
You’re absolutely right…so often, we jump right from the sensation to the story (what’s going on in our heads) and draw a (often irrational) conclusion from that experience.
This simple awareness is everything. It reminds us of our power to choose our story…every single minute of the day. Bravo!
(BTW…found ya through Marie Forlio)
Thx for your comment, Steve. Love what you said about drawing an irrational conclusion. So true.
Irene Lyon says
Great post Josh!
I must say, I’ve been really intrigued by “Fear” being such a hot topic of conversation lately and I’m glad you have dispelled pieces of it.
…mainly because, being the biology/physiology lady that I am…..
true biological fear rarely happens in our day to day life (unless of course we are living in a very unhealthy environment of abuse and neglect; or if we are about to get into an accident; or we are in war/natural disaster) and “FEAR” as a word is really getting overused and confused with a coupling of negative self-talk statement that then quickly, and unconsciously, insert themselves into our body as “vibrating atoms”.
I think it was Darwin who said, we aren’t scared because we see the saber tooth tiger, we are scared because we are experiencing the running that just automatically happens to protect us from the Tiger. Meaning, we interpret fear because we sense a change in body processes.
YOu and Darwin are speaking the same speak.
Take care Josh, Irene.
Damn, putting me and Darwin in the same sentence is an honor!
I loved auditioning. It was a chance to test myself. I always went after the lead. If I didn’t get the lead part in one show, than I’d have more time to audition for the lead in another show. The result? I always got the lead part- regardless of how small or big the show was, and my resume was stacked with lead parts. People knew I could take the heat. Some people prefer being supporting roles. Not me. If I wanted center stage, I knew that I’d have to face a lot of rejection, but the payoff was always far more rewarding than taking something just because I wanted to have “something” more than I wanted to have “nothing.” Some directors might have seen me as arrogant. I saw myself as determined. “If you never settle for less than the best, you’re more likely to get it.” (-unknown)
Shanique Gibbon says
This was exactly what i needed some assurance because i have been scared as hell for how many days now something inside just keep telling me you can’t do it and after such a big investment in my newly found Amway business, i just can’t give way to fear right now….just got to make it….my biggest fear is going out there and telling people about my business just don’t seem to now where to start……just get out there i guess and start somewhere.
Thanks so much for your insightful posts Josh! I love what you’re teaching here! YEA BABY!